I just got finished reading a bit of another blog. It made me a little sad. It's a young woman living with her BF. Apparently the 'rents are pressuring them to get married.
All I can say is, "Don't do it!". Never EVER let anyone pressure you to do something so life changing. It is one of the easiest things to do and one of the hardest to UNdo.
In many ways I'll always regret getting married when I was 23. It wasn't so much my age, but I was pretty naive and immature. I just wasn't ready for it, but I did it because that is what a young woman in the south DOES, isn't it? Hrmph I say. I WASTED 12 years of my life because of that one single mistake.
Oh sure, I did love my ex...until he changed. When did he change you might ask. I knew within 24 hours (on our honeymoon) that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. He had me where he wanted me and as far as he, and many other people, was concerned I was stuck. For life. I was screwed.
Oh yeah, he actually told me that the reason he married me was because I was a fantastic cook, he wanted a maid (and live in cook), and someone he could get pussy off any time he wanted it. Yeah, those were his exact words. Charming.
Ok, I learned many things from being married. The biggest lesson I learned, though is to never, ever allow any adult (meaning parents or relatives or friends) to pressure you. Emotional Blackmail is probably the fastest way they can get you to go along with them. It isn't worth it. What if you are with the right person. But what if this just isn't the right time for either of you. You get married, you get unhappy, you get divorced OR you stay miserable for the rest of your life. Marriage should be for life. You must be certain. This is your life not theirs. They've no right to tell you what to do or try in any way to influence your decisions. They cannot live vicariously THROUGH you, either. Tell 'em to get a life and let you get on with living yours. Be free. Just be. Revel in being yourself with only yourself to answer to.
My situation is probably nothing like this woman's but the end result could be the same. Years of heartache. Oh, and once the parents figure out that their little weapon works like a charm, they'll use it anytime they want you to do something, say something, or act a certain way. Been there done that with rellies on BOTH sides, plus the ex, Mr. Not So Charming. The trifecta of guilt.
Ain't I lucky to have gotten out?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Irritated...
I am today (my Yoda impression for the day). Well, still irritated from yesterday in point of fact.
I was sent a picture. Of my ex-husband. It has me a little muddled, to say the least. I'm not sure why though. My feelings about it and my ex are varied right now.
I think that I'm mostly relieved. Relieved because I'm not still married to the jerk. On a much shallower level, I'm relieved because my ex looks closer to 60 than the 45 he is now. His hair is white. WHITE!!!! Yeah, ok. I'm no spring chicken, but most people consistently mistake me for being in my early to mid 20's. So sure that makes me feel good. I got CARDED the last time I went to the liquor store, so that's something.
So, what bothers me about this picture.... it contains my ex and his girlfriend and her two sons. Hrmmmm. See, he can't have children of his own. He refused to even consider adoption because he said he could not see himself raising "another man's" kids. Ok, fine. AI then? Nope. He wanted them to be HIS children. Well gee buddy, that ain't gonna happen with no live swimmers, now is it?
So, in this picture is a man who now looks old enough to be my father and his girlfriend (who is at least my size - which is to say a little on the not-so-skinny side). He said he'd never ever date another "large" woman again. Huh. All men seem to have this absurd notion about women they'd date or marry but reality bites them in the ass most days when it comes to not what they'd accept (they being men), but what woman will accept them.
I'm pretty thankful that I'm married to C~ and not my ex. C~ is wonderful. He's good to me AND good for me. My ex probably thinks I should be killed mercilessly and cut into a zillion pieces for gator bait. Then again, his opinion of me was never all that high to begin with.
Now I can add glad, thankfull, and happy that I'm not still in that place.
I was sent a picture. Of my ex-husband. It has me a little muddled, to say the least. I'm not sure why though. My feelings about it and my ex are varied right now.
I think that I'm mostly relieved. Relieved because I'm not still married to the jerk. On a much shallower level, I'm relieved because my ex looks closer to 60 than the 45 he is now. His hair is white. WHITE!!!! Yeah, ok. I'm no spring chicken, but most people consistently mistake me for being in my early to mid 20's. So sure that makes me feel good. I got CARDED the last time I went to the liquor store, so that's something.
So, what bothers me about this picture.... it contains my ex and his girlfriend and her two sons. Hrmmmm. See, he can't have children of his own. He refused to even consider adoption because he said he could not see himself raising "another man's" kids. Ok, fine. AI then? Nope. He wanted them to be HIS children. Well gee buddy, that ain't gonna happen with no live swimmers, now is it?
So, in this picture is a man who now looks old enough to be my father and his girlfriend (who is at least my size - which is to say a little on the not-so-skinny side). He said he'd never ever date another "large" woman again. Huh. All men seem to have this absurd notion about women they'd date or marry but reality bites them in the ass most days when it comes to not what they'd accept (they being men), but what woman will accept them.
I'm pretty thankful that I'm married to C~ and not my ex. C~ is wonderful. He's good to me AND good for me. My ex probably thinks I should be killed mercilessly and cut into a zillion pieces for gator bait. Then again, his opinion of me was never all that high to begin with.
Now I can add glad, thankfull, and happy that I'm not still in that place.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Massage Therapy School
Oh. My. God. I love it! I hate it! I cannot wait to be finished with it! Technically, I'll be finished in 2 days. But, I've only finished the Cert IV training. That allows me to work as a massage therapist and bill a few insurance companies, but not all of them. The vast majority require a Diploma of Remedial Massage Therapy.
This is what Western Sydney University has to say about Remedial Therapy:
What is Remedial Massage?
When muscles become knotted and tense or damaged, remedial massage provides a healing
treatment that can be gentle or strong, deep or shallow. Remedial massage holistically treats
the body. The massage therapist endeavours to identify the original biomechanical
dysfunction, thus healing the cause of the disorder, as well as the symptoms.
Remedial massage uses several specialised techniques to locate and repair damage to
muscles, tendons and joints. Massage therapy supports and speeds up the body's own repair
mechanisms. A lubricating medium (usually oil) is applied directly on the skin. This ensures
that the muscles associated with the disorder are deeply penetrated. Passive joint stretching
moves are also used.
Here is what I'm "supposed" to be doing now that I have a Cert IV:
What is Relaxation Massage?
Relaxation or Swedish massage is a smooth flowing style that helps reduce:
• stress
• improve circulation and range of movement
• eases and tones muscles
• provides the deep relaxation that allows our minds and bodies to recharge and rejuvenate.
However, I also do Neuromuscular Techniques, rigger Point Therapy, Sports Massage, Range Of Motion, and PNF and MET Stretches.
So, yeah I can get in there and work on stuff that hurts but I'm not always able to completely get rid of all knots and so forth. Basically, I know enough to be dangerous. LOL!
Not that I don't give a good massage, I do. But there's a hell of a lot more to be learned and even after I finish Remedial, I'll still need to keep on learning. In 10 weeks I have learned the basics. In 10 more weeks I'll know more basics (basics of Remedial Therapy, that is).
So, for now I suffer from extreme fatigue from giving 18 massages in the last week and a half. I had a small idea how hard it was, but this is ridiculous. Now, I'm certain I'll never do more than 4 massages per day and most likely no more than 3 days most weeks. Some weeks I could probably do 4 days but not too many. I now need a massage worse than I've ever needed one.
This is what Western Sydney University has to say about Remedial Therapy:
What is Remedial Massage?
When muscles become knotted and tense or damaged, remedial massage provides a healing
treatment that can be gentle or strong, deep or shallow. Remedial massage holistically treats
the body. The massage therapist endeavours to identify the original biomechanical
dysfunction, thus healing the cause of the disorder, as well as the symptoms.
Remedial massage uses several specialised techniques to locate and repair damage to
muscles, tendons and joints. Massage therapy supports and speeds up the body's own repair
mechanisms. A lubricating medium (usually oil) is applied directly on the skin. This ensures
that the muscles associated with the disorder are deeply penetrated. Passive joint stretching
moves are also used.
Here is what I'm "supposed" to be doing now that I have a Cert IV:
What is Relaxation Massage?
Relaxation or Swedish massage is a smooth flowing style that helps reduce:
• stress
• improve circulation and range of movement
• eases and tones muscles
• provides the deep relaxation that allows our minds and bodies to recharge and rejuvenate.
However, I also do Neuromuscular Techniques, rigger Point Therapy, Sports Massage, Range Of Motion, and PNF and MET Stretches.
So, yeah I can get in there and work on stuff that hurts but I'm not always able to completely get rid of all knots and so forth. Basically, I know enough to be dangerous. LOL!
Not that I don't give a good massage, I do. But there's a hell of a lot more to be learned and even after I finish Remedial, I'll still need to keep on learning. In 10 weeks I have learned the basics. In 10 more weeks I'll know more basics (basics of Remedial Therapy, that is).
So, for now I suffer from extreme fatigue from giving 18 massages in the last week and a half. I had a small idea how hard it was, but this is ridiculous. Now, I'm certain I'll never do more than 4 massages per day and most likely no more than 3 days most weeks. Some weeks I could probably do 4 days but not too many. I now need a massage worse than I've ever needed one.
Water, water, all around, and not a drop to drink...
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