Thursday, April 12, 2007

Moms are Butt Dust

I haven't found anything funny or even cute to write about this week and I'm certain you don't want another "Tiger Story" this soon lol, so I'm posting a great email from my best friend Debbi. I love you, woman! You always know just how to make my day and make me smile. I have, however, posted a cute pic of my boy, Tigez as I found him this morning...C~ had him all wrapped up cuz he was on the sofa shivering his widdle fuzzy bum off.

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the
following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows whe
re the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of the
re when we were getting born.

How did God make mothe
1. He used di
rt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus supe
r powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the sa
me like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothe
rs out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the wo
rld and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get thei
r start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
ring, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes
me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little gi
rl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that othe
r stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't the
re, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad befo
re she married him?
1. His last na
2. She had to know his backg
round. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a yea
r? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did you
r Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the wo
rld. And my Mom eats a lot
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My g
randma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at you
r house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by
room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot mo
re to do than dad.

What's the diffe
rence between moms and dads?
1. Moms wo
rk at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work
2. Moms know how to talk to teache
rs without scaring them.
3. Dads a
re taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep ove
r at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel bette
r without medicine.

What does you
r Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hea
r her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make you
r Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet ? you know, he
r hair. I'd diet, maybe blue

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this wei
rd thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom sma
rter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like fo
r her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.


I was out walking with my 4 yea
r old daughter. She picked up something off
the g
round and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from
r and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because
it's been laying outside, you don't know whe
re it's been, it's dirty and
robably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me
with total admi
ration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the
Mommy Test. You have to know it, o
r they don't let you be a Mommy." We
walked along in silence fo
r 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
ring this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you
don't pass the test you have to be the daddy" "Exactly" I
replied back
with a big smile on my face and joy in my hea
rt. When you're finished
laughing, send this to a Mom.
This is too cute....
r Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on
his uptu
rned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have
continued, but at that mo
ment one very obedient little girl (who was
listening ca
refully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in
r shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?" Church was
retty much over at that point...