Axe | Shower

It really is all sweetness and light

This is what I look like when I'm not removing one foot from my mouth just to find the other has found its way in. I took a peek at Sideon's Sanctuary and found this Karma Thingy and thought it was cool. You can find your own karma here. Don't mind what mine says, it's somewhat true, I suppose...well, except for the Quiet part; I don't think anyone that knows me would agree with that lol.

The One with the vibrators....

Yes folks this it, the one you have all been waiting for. The one about the vibrators. ALL the lowdown, where to get them, the best, worst, and everything in between. I shall provide completely biased commentary, because how the heck can it be anything but biased....we're talking vibrators here, people! If you are squeamish or are not into adult "stuff", go away NOW, run as fast as you can to some little nice, nice blog. This will probably be a bit on the graphic side for some.


Hey, I warned ya...don't say I didn't *grin*.

Ok, first of all, yes I have had a few, broken 3 so far in my life...or maybe they just wore out? Actually, one died cuz it got wet in the shower and rusted the battery contacts, one just simply fell apart, and the other was a piece of sh*t to begin with. Never EVER buy a cheap vibe. Go ahead and put some money into it. It will be there when no one or nothing else is, it will kill time, release endorphins, get rid of PMS (at least for a while), and just plain make ya feel all squishy inside.

Now for all the good stuff. Being that I live in Australia, it ain't easy getting decently priced vibes here. I get mine in America from a certain place on the net. For many reasons, I am not going to list the name just put a hyperlink HERE but they have great prices, they have fabulous sales, cheap shipping within and without the USA and take foreign credit cards. Let's just say they are SO good I've spent more than... a few dollars in the last 3 years with them. They have replaced stuff and credited shipping of an accidentally damaged item, they make alot of products....I know I'll get on with it, I'm sounding like a sales rep for them. I'm just saying they are great and I won't buy anywhere else.

Anywho, my personal fav, I will go ahead and tell you is the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hey the thing doubles as a back massager, I have two, nuff said. If you go out and look on Google one can even find instructions on how to properly masturbate with one. i will not go that far here. I don't much care for the attachments *shrug*, that's just me. By the way...the Wand ain't meant to go inside....the attachments are, so don't go all cringey thinking weird stuff about me, k?

Now, the Rabbit. I have one of the more pricey models that is pretty cool, but it can get a tad bit old after a few minutes, to be honest...not to mention the noise it makes is just annoying as it wiggles round and round. Yeah it's good and it works, but the sound just turns me off...definitely could use headphones with this one.

Then we have the standard straight, no lumps or bumps silver, flesh toned, or other vibrant coloured hard plastic vibe. Meh, broke mine pretty quickly, they come in all sizes, some people like em, some don't. Not for me.

Now, the Silver Bullet Vibe is a whole 'nothah story. This one is completely hidden, as in inside, hidden. It's an egg. Oh yeah, baby, this is teh sh*it. It's egg-shaped, water proof, some even come with remote controls. How'd ya like to be out somewhere and your Honey has the remote in his pocket? Sweet!

Now, for the more exotic stuff. The Mediterranean Missile. Great name, huh? Also come with cute attachments that are all soft and squishy, which is nice, cuz this one's for anal play. Ok, that's not for some people. But hey, I'm adventurous, after being married (no longer) to Mr. Missionary for a long time, I like to try out new stuff. But, I'll just bet you figured that out already, huh? The Lil' Butt Buddy is a no go, too short n fat and when all lubed up properly just slips out...sucks cuz it's cute and has all these cool functions! Oh wait...this new one has a damn suction cup! Now just gotta find a smooth surface. Hrmmmm, never mind....lmao.

Ok, now everyone has their favorite lube. Mine happens to be Moist Silicone Spray Lubricant and Anal Eaze.

Everyone has their own preferences, but I've found that being prone to irritations from condoms, toys, and even semen, the right lubricant is a definite must for me. Now, i could probably go on all night about the toys. I may even come back to this later...if anyone wants anymore info, that is. If this has been a total turn-off post, then I'll just never go back to the subject and shut up about it.

My sexual history isn't extravagant, just average I suppose given that I was married for the first time at 23, and had been with that person for 3 years prior...so I wasn't exactly sexually extravagant and didn't really know a whole lot. Like I said, my ex thought there were only 2 sexual positions, missionary & doggy style, so I didn't have much chance. No wonder I was unhappy and unfulfilled. So, I've made up for it since I met my current hubby *grin*. Lucky for me he and I can talk about anything, especially sex, which I have found to be totally liberating and instead of being worried that he will judge me by what I think or feel, I know that he will be totally supportive and help me in any way he can and also lets me know that I am always loved and respected, no matter what I ask for or ask to do. I thank God every day for finding him for me.

The moon is upside down

One of the things I've always felt good about is that I have ALWAYS had this innate sense of direction, no matter where I am. Well, that was certainly true when I resided in the Northern Hemisphere. Now, I have lost all sense of direction and it fucks with me terribly. I actually must look up to see the sun to know where I am in relation to North, South, East, and West.

Yes, the moon does look upside down from my perspective here "Down Under" and it freaks me out at times. The hubster suggested I just not look at it, lol. That may sound good, but I think the moon is way too beautiful to NOT look at it, ever!

So here I am, walking upside down, for all practical purposes, with only gravity keeping me from falling into space. Yeah, of course, I know that no matter where one is on Earth that is what is going on, yet it still messes with my head. By the way, water does NOT go down the drain swirling in the opposite direction of the way it swirls in the Northern Hemisphere. That was the first thing I checked out when I came to visit, and the most commonly misreported fallacy about the differences in hemispheres. Wan to know how I know this? My mother-in-law asked me if water flowed down the drain in a counter clockwise fashion (opposite to here). Nope, it's all clockwise.