Souf Cackalacky, how I do miss thee

I shall be forever grateful to my parents for raising me in The South, and I just know you're gonna ask why, too. Why? Mostly so I can fuck with peoples heads. Especially now that I use the internet so much using "southern speak" can be quite fun. Perhaps we should term it "Typing in the Vernacular" of one's origins.

The first time I ever read anything written in vernacular was Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn. At first, it was a bit difficult, but found out soon enough that if I read it aloud to myself it made far more sense. So I took to reading it aloud out in the middle of a field sitting on a rock. Hey! There was no one out there to judge me or laugh at me either. Lately my accent seems to have become much more muddied. Generally speaking I do not have much of an accent and if someone were to peg it then they'd be off a bit since I tend to sound typically midwestern. But I think it's because I have always had somewhat lazy speech in that I took on the sounds of those I spoke to most often, which served to temper my southern dialect when I lived in New Orleans.

Also, when I was a teenager visiting a friend in Chicago, I'll never forget my humiliation at being teased mercilessly. All everyone wanted me to do was say "ya'll". It made me start looking a bit harder at my accent and what would make me "normal" if I spoke differently. So I learned to speak more slowly, which lowered the pitch as well as, made me far more conscious of the sounds coming out of my mouth. It quickly made short shrift of my accent and I sounded more like the people on tv.

Until recently, the only time I sounded southern was when first woke up, was overtired or sick or had been drinking. Then something happened. I started "hearing" myself speak as I wrote forum posts, emails, and blog posts. The weird thing was that I was hearing a southern accent, NOT my normal one. So, ya know whut? Feck it! Then came typing in vernacular. ack! Considering that I keep in touch with a lot of people via instant messenger it just started happnin' while I wuz chattin' awnlahn. whut thuh fuuuuuucckkk?

Hey-ulh fahrr! Dayum! It's gawt me! HEP ME HEP ME! I cain't stop eet!
*Hell fire! Damn! It's got me! Help me help me melp me! I can't stop it!*

No matter where I am or where I go in life I shall henceforth be true to my farkin' suthun sef, Ya'll.

*btw, I grew up in South Carolina, otherwise known as Souf Cackalacky and by Gawd I am a Gamecok Fan.......my blood runneth crimson and black forevah.

Speaking of Gamecocks, perhaps next time I'll write about all the innuendo laden USC Bumper stickers like my personal favorite " You can't lick our Cocks", etc... and about fond memories of 1980's college football when Joe Morrison was king of Black Magic and his Fire Ant Defense ruled the South.