Wasted Daze

No, I'm not drunk lol. I'm in a daze from having wasted my day on a totally unbelievable interview. I waited a month to walk into an office and say hi, explain why I haven't gotten a job since I've been looking for 6 months, and also explain why I am not working as a dental hygienist. As if spending $4000 is a top priority at the moment when C~ graduates from Law School in a week. Ummm, I have MUCH more important things going on right now! Like finding a damn apartment or house to rent. Like going on a holiday this weekend for my first anniversary. Ok, yes it IS important that I eventually go back to work as a hygienist. But it's not THAT important to me. Money just isn't. Money is nice and all that, but honestly....it's the only reason why I would go back to it. It's a friggin boring as heck job, same shit hour after hour, day after day, with patients gettting this glazed look in their eyes when I explain the necessity of flossing. It's the same here as back in the good old US of A. Patients still don't give a damn about flossing, or even brushing all that much, for that matter...and they sure as heck don't need ME to tell them something that they've been hearing every six months for pretty much their entire lives and could not give a flying chili bean fart about me or what I have to say.

So, tell my why I would inflict that kind of pain upon myself anytime soon. Not to mention spend the afore mentioned sum of money required. Oh yes, I also have to take a written exam...which I've already taken, but failed....because when I wrote the essay portion of the exam out, I stated what an American Dental Hygienist would do to combat periodontal disease. I did not take into account that Aussie hygienists are not ALLOWED to do the things I was doing in America. So, for being honest and truthful, I was failed, since in the eyes of the test correctors I was wrong because I was not giving them the answer they wanted to hear. I apparently gave them the correct answers for what dentists are allowed to do. Ok, so tell my why I would want to practice in a place that won't let me do diddly squat? Except for the money, of course. Aussie hygienists are paid at more than double what I was making back home, even with the exchange rate. So yeah, I could make in 2 days what I make in 5 right now. There is that. I'm just so damn fed up with it right now. Yes I want to go back to it. Just not right now. But no one can see that. It's a boring job I did for 11 yrs and I'm not ready to go back to it. Oh yeah, and I don't want to spend another thousand dollars on a written exam I could possibly fail again. I don't like failing. It's not in me. I've never failed and it's done a real number on my ego. I graduated at the top of my class in high school and college. I made the second highest National Board score the year I graduated from college. I've been licensed to practice Dental Hygiene in 3 US states, 2 of them on merit alone...SC required that I take a clinical exam when I graduated, but when I moved back there a few years ago, they reinstated my license without question. But yes, after taking the written exam again, I have to wait 6 months to take a clinical exam on the other side of this country (which will take 4 days) and a return flight there, as well as 5 days accomodation, meals, and rental car.

I'm just severely annoyed at the moment. I have a job now. So far, after 1 day there, I like it. It looks promising. It's a lot of hours....38 in 4 days. 7:30 am - 6:30 pm T & TH , 1 - 8:30 pm Wed, 7:30 - 4:30 Fri, and every second Saturday from 8-12. It's a heck of a lot, and nights ugh. But everyone there seems nice enough, quite supportive and they actually want me to use my brain and my knowledge to get them up and running properly with their infection control program. Not to mention that they want me to try my hand at being a Treatment Planning Coordinator...fancy name for someone that presents treatment plan options to patients and gets a nice fat bonus for getting patients to accept the proposed treatment. I don't know how that will suit me, but we shall see. They also want me to be the Patient Coordinator, another fancy "management consulting firm name" for person that tells people where to be and when....keeping everyone rolling along all day in a smooth manner. It's a heck of a job to look forward to. Busy as heck...by the end of the next 6 months it is planned that there will be 4-5 dentists and 2 hygienists in this office. So that means a tremendous amount of support staff that I would be in charge of.

Question is....do I really want this? I don't honestly know. Do I think I can do it? I'm scared shitless that I want that kind of power. I'm scared I won't be able to deliver. I think that is what scares me most, that I may want that kind of power, that I may actually BE that ambitious and money hungry....no I don't think it's really the money, I think it's the power that is alluring, and I'm certainly not used to wanting power.