Thursday, January 04, 2007

Taboo Sex

Yes, sex seems to be a taboo subject except on the most explicit blogs. Honestly, sex is something I am not really comfortable with, but it came up when I was posting a comment on Sister Mary Lisa's blog earlier today. Her post was about not being able to take the Lord's name in vain without feeling like she had committed a mortal sin. My reply was that I'd pretty much gotten over that lol. My fav curse word is the all purpose F-word. I love it, probably too much. Oh well, there are worse things in this world. At least I'm not a pedophile or into goat sex.

See, there we go again....a taboo sex subject. I happen to LIKE sex, A LOT. I mean, who doesn't? The problem is the guilt we have associated with our childhoods. You know, mom saying sex is only good when you're married kind of thing. When one grows up, one figures out that one does NOT have to be married to have great sex. Ok maybe sex is merely good for most marrieds, perhaps its absolutely fabulous for non-married folks. Or perhaps its fantastic for those that are able to get past the childhood guilt that religious people spin it out to be. I have a friend who is SO marvelous. She understands me completely. I Love reading her blog because she is so open about her sex life, what she loves, wants and needs. Her blog is totally devoted to her views on the lifestyle she has chosen...slightly to the left of the average American person, probably because it IS a lifestyle and it isn't the "we have missionary sex every Saturday night" lifestyle.

The strange thing is that my ex used to accuse me of not liking sex. Odd because I love was just that he had no idea what I liked and didn't bother to ask or try to find out in any way. I suppose that it was also my fault for not really telling him. How does one ASK for certain things? What if your partner finds your fantasies "way out there" or disgusting? Most likely they won't but the fear is that they will think we are strange at best and filthy at worst. I guess that everyone has the fantasy of their partner being the stranger picking them up in the bar or the policeman hitting on them instead of giving out a speeding ticket. What of those that fantasize of getting a spanking or being tied up or blindfolded? Is that just too much, too 'out there'?

I think the greatest thing about my partner is that he and I can communicate about everything...especially sex. It was one thing that we both insisted on from the very beginning. Given that we met on the internet and it took a year before we met in person, our interaction included quite a few pretty hot discussions. Lucky me, lucky him. I hope everyone can be so lucky too.


Mooselet said...

I remember very clearly my 10th grade biology teacher Mr. Sham telling us that sex was for reproductive purposes only, to our amused and hormonally induced snickering. Poor Mr. Sham... A better lecture was the one we got from our health teacher that same year that was along the lines of "Look, sex is great. Not going to lie to you. But if you do it now you're going to regret it." I imagine some parents, had they ever learned of such talk, would've had heart attacks. Because we just can't talk frankly about sex, or very few can. Which is silly, because it's how we all got here in the first place. Our parents had sex!!!!

Not that I've completely grossed everyone out with that mental image, I'll leave now. :-)

Genilimaa said...

Great post, Kitten.
Me, I'm a hopeless prude when it comes to sex and nakedness. I don't know where to go in the chair at the cinema when things are getting steamy - out of pure embarrassement!
To me, the body is like this extra hassle to walk around with - having to feed it, find clothes, exercise, sex...
Can I please be that brain in the glass jar that Dr. Hfuhruhurr loved so much ("The man with two brains", 1983)?

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Ha ha ha, Gen. No, embrace who you are, and try to find enjoyment in your (and your hubby's) body!

It is hard to get past our feelings of taboo-ness, isn't it, Kitten? I really like what you wrote here. Glad my post about saying GOD! inspired this openness. I'm not sure when I'll be brave enought to tackle actual sex on my blog. Maybe you've inspired me now!

kitten said...

I suppose I'm grateful to God making us humans the way we are. Not perfect, extremely flawed, but able to love incredibly well. I'm not just talking about physical love, but emotional too. How wonderful it is to love and be loved.

SumWun said...

You are very lucky indeed. Really the best part of sex that is great is feeling safe to express what you desire without worrying your mate will flag down a taxi as soon as you really open up. You are so very lucky.