Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The One with the vibrators....

Yes folks this it, the one you have all been waiting for. The one about the vibrators. ALL the lowdown, where to get them, the best, worst, and everything in between. I shall provide completely biased commentary, because how the heck can it be anything but biased....we're talking vibrators here, people! If you are squeamish or are not into adult "stuff", go away NOW, run as fast as you can to some little nice, nice blog. This will probably be a bit on the graphic side for some.

Hey, I warned ya...don't say I didn't *grin*.

Ok, first of all, yes I have had a few, broken 3 so far in my life...or maybe they just wore out? Actually, one died cuz it got wet in the shower and rusted the battery contacts, one just simply fell apart, and the other was a piece of sh*t to begin with. Never EVER buy a cheap vibe. Go ahead and put some money into it. It will be there when no one or nothing else is, it will kill time, release endorphins, get rid of PMS (at least for a while), and just plain make ya feel all squishy inside.

Now for all the good stuff. Being that I live in Australia, it ain't easy getting decently priced vibes here. I get mine in America from a certain place on the net. For many reasons, I am not going to list the name just put a hyperlink HERE but they have great prices, they have fabulous sales, cheap shipping within and without the USA and take foreign credit cards. Let's just say they are SO good I've spent more than... a few dollars in the last 3 years with them. They have replaced stuff and credited shipping of an accidentally damaged item, they make alot of products....I know I'll get on with it, I'm sounding like a sales rep for them. I'm just saying they are great and I won't buy anywhere else.

Anywho, my personal fav, I will go ahead and tell you is the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hey the thing doubles as a back massager, I have two, nuff said. If you go out and look on Google one can even find instructions on how to properly masturbate with one. i will not go that far here. I don't much care for the attachments *shrug*, that's just me. By the way...the Wand ain't meant to go inside....the attachments are, so don't go all cringey thinking weird stuff about me, k?

Now, the Rabbit. I have one of the more pricey models that is pretty cool, but it can get a tad bit old after a few minutes, to be honest...not to mention the noise it makes is just annoying as it wiggles round and round. Yeah it's good and it works, but the sound just turns me off...definitely could use headphones with this one.

Then we have the standard straight, no lumps or bumps silver, flesh toned, or other vibrant coloured hard plastic vibe. Meh, broke mine pretty quickly, they come in all sizes, some people like em, some don't. Not for me.

Now, the Silver Bullet Vibe is a whole 'nothah story. This one is completely hidden, as in inside, hidden. It's an egg. Oh yeah, baby, this is teh sh*it. It's egg-shaped, water proof, some even come with remote controls. How'd ya like to be out somewhere and your Honey has the remote in his pocket? Sweet!

Now, for the more exotic stuff. The Mediterranean Missile. Great name, huh? Also come with cute attachments that are all soft and squishy, which is nice, cuz this one's for anal play. Ok, that's not for some people. But hey, I'm adventurous, after being married (no longer) to Mr. Missionary for a long time, I like to try out new stuff. But, I'll just bet you figured that out already, huh? The Lil' Butt Buddy is a no go, too short n fat and when all lubed up properly just slips cuz it's cute and has all these cool functions! Oh wait...this new one has a damn suction cup! Now just gotta find a smooth surface. Hrmmmm, never mind....lmao.

Ok, now everyone has their favorite lube. Mine happens to be Moist Silicone Spray Lubricant and Anal Eaze.

Everyone has their own preferences, but I've found that being prone to irritations from condoms, toys, and even semen, the right lubricant is a definite must for me. Now, i could probably go on all night about the toys. I may even come back to this later...if anyone wants anymore info, that is. If this has been a total turn-off post, then I'll just never go back to the subject and shut up about it.

My sexual history isn't extravagant, just average I suppose given that I was married for the first time at 23, and had been with that person for 3 years I wasn't exactly sexually extravagant and didn't really know a whole lot. Like I said, my ex thought there were only 2 sexual positions, missionary & doggy style, so I didn't have much chance. No wonder I was unhappy and unfulfilled. So, I've made up for it since I met my current hubby *grin*. Lucky for me he and I can talk about anything, especially sex, which I have found to be totally liberating and instead of being worried that he will judge me by what I think or feel, I know that he will be totally supportive and help me in any way he can and also lets me know that I am always loved and respected, no matter what I ask for or ask to do. I thank God every day for finding him for me.


Miss Misery said...

Oh wow lol well I was planning on getting one of my best friends a vibrator as a least now I know which kinds are better for use =P

mylifeinstockholm said...

thanks for the site! i was looking for a new supplier. my rabbit melted. don't ask...

kitten said...

Miss M: Well now you know *grin*
mlis: hehehe, we all know about meltdowns don't we. But seriously there is nothing worse than a meltdown cuz your best friend melted. BTW, it's a good idea to blow out the candles when you're all done *chuckle*.

Mooselet said...

OK, next time someone looks for vibrators on my blog, I will send them over to you. :-)

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Well, I was reading this and chuckling and remembering a Sex in the City episode where the blonde woman stood in the massager section of the store and totally taught all the other customers how each massager was to be used properly as a vibrator and which she recommended and which she didn't.

Love it.

Sideon said...

This is the BEST POST EVER.

You, my dear, are awesome.

Lee said...

great post with lots of good info kitten! well done...maybe you should turn it into a regular feature ;)?

IHateToast said...

did i miss you at sexpo? mark and i love to find the most carnal carnie and get into a conversation with him.

we bought the glove. THE glove. you shudda bought the glove, wummun.

kitten said...

Yeah, would ya believe we had free tickets to sexpo this year and didn't go? I can't remember why, but I think we just forgot about it since we'd just moved house. Ah well. Yeah, the glove, we've looked at that, but is 'spensive. We have our own version of it though *wink wink*.