Sunday, March 11, 2007

Bad day at work? Nothing compares to this....

This afternoon I discovered that I could laugh again. Not a little chuckle, but a completely hysterical, worry my husband a bit kinda laugh. I received an email from an old friend in New Orleans a little while ago and I could barely get through reading it because I was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe, much less see the computer screen through my tears. Now before you read this, keep in mind that I do have an odd sense of humour, cuz hubs just read the email and said, "You laughed until you cried because of this? I could hear you laughing up the street, it sounded like you were in PAIN. I thought something was WRONG with you." Yeah ok, so maybe it's not all that funny, you be the judge.

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it however, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.


Mooselet said...

Ouch ouch ouchouchouchouchouch!!!!!

I'm itchy now, thanks...

The Prof said...

My job doesn't really suck after all!

The Sacred Sister said...

LOL You're right this is funny! Maybe I have the same twsited sense of humor as you, who knows? :)
For those of you that have never experienced the sting of a jelly fish... OUCH. It hurts like a... you get the idea. I was stung on my thigh once and it swelled and hurt for a couple of days. The life guard at the beach made me put meat tenderizer on it. Wierd. I can't imagine getting stung on the rear!

Slick said...

read that before...

Freakin' hilarious but you know, it almost sounds like my kind of luck ;)

IHateToast said...

what a concept! a butt can swell so much it shuts and can't poop?

repulsed as well as impressed.

kitten said...

Yeah, I think ew can all relate this story to SOMETHING we either may have had happen or know someone it happened to. I'm just glad my job only entails lots of blood and spit, then again, we all have our limits *grin*